In lieu of complaints...

So there's this new company man out here on the rig, and I've been told that he is of the "old school" style of company man. Translation: he's a big, fat, jerk.

But I'm not in the mood to complain right now, and I'm sure that he'll provide me ample material for anecdotes of hair-pulling frustration as we work together over the next few weeks. You can hear about that later.

So instead, I'm going to post a new favorite sunrise photo that the directional driller took the other day. Unfortunately I haven't gotten to see many good sunrises and sunsets out here, since the rig is positioned where the derrick blocks my view of the Eastern sky and the living quarters block the Western sky. But we can sneak a few glimpses in and amongst the machinery as you can enjoy below.

The One-hundred-and-first First

As I was compiling that list of 100 "firsts" a new first was occurring simultaneously. This new experience for me came to its stunning conclusion early yesterday morning when our drilling assembly was officially declared "Lost in Hole".

That means that there is 1.5 million dollars worth of equipment sitting at the bottom of a 9000 foot hole, and we can't get it out.

A number of days ago we were in the process of pulling the drilling assembly part-way out of the hole so we could circulate the mud and clean the hole when all of a sudden the whole rig shook (and jolted me awake from a mid-day nap I was taking in my chair). The next thing they noticed was that the weight hanging from the derrick was 100,000 pounds less than it was supposed to be. Yes, ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS LESS. What happened to that extra 100,000 pounds? Well, it twisted off and fell down to the very bottom.

The next six days were a relaxing time for me. The tools that I am in charge of are literally screwed into the drill bit, so they would be the very last items to reach surface. The rest of the rig was in a flurry of activity, however, as they tried fishing out the tools again and again with various fishing assemblies.

The very last thing they tried was a "freepointer gun" which was lowered down via wireline. It used blasting charges to cut the drilling assembly in half, and then we were able to successfully fish the top half out. They were hopeful that they could then fish the bottom half out, being lighter for the lack of 2000 feet of drillpipe, but after six days at the bottom of the hole the drill bit may as well have grown roots; it was not to be budged.

1.3 of those 1.5 million dollars is the high-tech equipment that my company is now short. I'm currently working with my manager on the bill for the client, and it's going to be a doozy.

Rating the Vegetables

I've been on a new rig for the past 2+ weeks now, so it's clearly time to give my appraisal for the quality of their vegetable service.

Unlike past rigs, this one varies greatly from day to day in the presentation and variety of the greenery for consumption. When I first arrived here the galley crew at the time was immediately awarded a C- in my mind: sufficient, but only just. They had a bowl of iceberg lettuce, some diced tomatoes and peeled, thin-sliced cucumbers out with lunch. Those same bowls were trapped under a giant protective plastic lid at dinner which was accessible, but very awkward to open and serve. Their cooked vegetables were few and far between, and anything remotely green was served with hunks of ham stewed in it and dripping in grease or butter.

Then about 5 days after my arrival there was a crew change and an entirely new galley crew arrived. Their grade was immediately raised to a B- or even a B+ out of sheer relief for the fact that they chopped their tomatoes and cucumbers into much more salad-friendly sizes. Their cooked vegetables are also less greasy, and I even got to eat broccoli one day that wasn't dripping in butter. Not to mention the time that the salad bar had a bowl full of baby spinach! Heaven!

But then they do awful things like set out a tossed salad with too much dressing and grated cheese with lunch. THE DRESSING AND GRATED CHEESE WERE TOSSED WITH THE SALAD -- THERE IS NO ESCAPING THEM! I ate a small half-bowl of that before I gave up trying to pick the dripping slivers of cheese off the lettuce, and judging by the fullness of the salad bowl at the next meal I'm sure I was the only one to even try eating it. There are about 40 men on this rig, and their idea of a vegetable seems to be a baked potato filled with sour cream and "Parkay" butter substitute.

In fact, I seem to be the only person on this rig that consistently eats from the sad little salad bar we have here. As the key demographic, I'm almost tempted to leave my suggestions for better preparing the salad to my preferences.

So the verdict is: C. This rig gets a solid C average for quantity, variety, and overall preparation of vegetables. To be more specific, I would have to say that this particular galley crew gets a C+, and the other crew that was here when I first arrived gets a C-.

And despite my best efforts at cultural learning, I still don't understand why people think it's necessary to peel the cucumbers.

Happy 101st!

It's my 101st post today! I was too busy complaining on my last post to notice it was my 100th, but 101 is 1 post more awesome than 100, an indisputable fact that clearly makes this the most awesome post in the history of posts.

In honor of the occasion, I have decided to compile a list of "100 Firsts" (Get it? One hundred and first? Yeah I'm witty like that). So, in no particular order, I would like to present "100 things I never did before entering the wondrous world of oil." Now many of these are not related to the oilfield, but without the oilfield and my job in it, these "firsts" may never have come to pass. After having written it over the course of FIVE days, I have a new appreciation for lists; it's hard enough to come up with a list of 100 of anything, let alone something specific as "100 firsts for me"

So without any further ado, may I present "100 1sts for Holly"

1. I deployed a fire extinguisher
2. I put out a diesel fire with a fire extinguisher
3. I drove an SUV
4. I drove a pickup truck
5. I did a 180 with the pickup truck – on purpose!
6. I ran off the road – on purpose!
7. I learned what "cattle guards" are
8. I drove over "cattle guards"
9. I flew in helicopters
10. I practiced escaping from a simulated helicopter crash
11. I took a helicopter, a car, a plane and a train all in one 24 hr period
12. I got seasick (a little)
13. I rewired computer equipment
14. I used duct tape on actual ducts
15. I got fingerprinted at the police station (for work! I swear!)
16. I spent Mardi Gras in New Orleans (not for work)
17. I was serenaded by an accordion player
18. I wore steel toed boots
19. I wore insulated steel toed boots in the snow
20. I wore flame retardant clothing
21. I wore pajamas to work (under my flame retardant clothing)
22. I handled radioactive materials
23. I was in charge of radioactive materials
24. I worked the night shift
25. I worked the night shift so much I didn’t bother to switch back to days when I was home.
26. I used the “night shift jet-lag” as an excuse to skip anything I wasn’t interested in doing
27. I actually made an effort to eat more vegetables
28. I ate crawfish
29. I ate alligator
30. I ate corn dogs
31. I ate homemade donuts (and far too many of them)
32. I ate Indian food and LIKED it
33. I ate Mexican food for three meals a day
34. I actually got tired of Mexican food (until the next day)
35. I made my own sushi
36. I ate hominy. Just plain hominy.
37. I ate collard greens
38. I ate black eyed peas
39. I learned that collard greens and black eyed peas are traditional New Year’s dishes, and ate them both on New Year’s
40. I worked on New Year’s
41. I worked on Christmas
42. I worked on Thanksgiving
43. I went to school on Memorial Day
44. I didn’t go to school/work on Mardi Gras
45. I visited two presidential libraries (George H.W. Bush & Bill Clinton: what a pair!)
46. I bought a margarita at a drive through daiquiri stand
47. I visited the Tabasco Factory
48. I became addicted to scrambled eggs with TONS of Tabasco
49. I pointed a satellite dish
50. I made calls on a satellite phone
51. I used satellite internet (which is sooooo slow)
52. I went to Arkansas
53. I went to Wyoming
54. I went to Texas
55. I went to Oklahoma
56. I went to Utah
57. I went to England
58. I lived in a hotel for more than two weeks
59. I lived in a hotel for more than two months
60. I evacuated for a hurricane
61. I rode out a hurricane on the water
62. I drank a “hurricane” on Bourbon Street
63. I went to a crawfish boil (pronounced “ball”)
64. I was forced to listen to country music for hours
65. I learned to tolerate country music
66. I learned to love country music
67. I learned the “Texas Two Step”
68. I faked the “Cajun Two Step”
69. I went to a rodeo
70. I saw the space shuttle take off – in person!
71. I saw people chewing tobacco
72. I saw the gross insides of a tobacco chewer’s “spit cup”
73. I saw Spanish moss
74. I saw Yellowstone Park
75. I saw “Old Faithful” erupt
76. I saw wild bison
77. I saw wild alligators
78. I saw wild dolphins
79. I saw wild barracudas
80. I saw wild barracudas reeled in while deep-sea fishing.
81. I saw plantations
82. I saw sugar cane farms
83. I saw the month-long fires before harvesting the sugar cane fields
84. I saw crawfish farms
85. I saw wild crawfish holes
86. I entered two new income tax brackets
87. I started saving for retirement
88. I paid my own health insurance
89. I made my own dentist appointments
90. I got my own membership to the local art museum
91. I bought a washer and dryer
92. I shopped at a Piggly Wiggly
93. I bought groceries at WalMart (sigh)
94. I bought a piano (electric)
95. I bought an iPod
96. I filled my iPod with country music
97. I used a Self Contained Breathing Apparatus (not for underwater)
98. I experienced banana oil
99. I spent entire days doing nothing but reading strangers’ blogs
100. I wrote my own blog!

P.s. While considering plans for this post, and this list, I tried out various ideas like "100 things I like about the oilfield" but I doubt I could have gotten to 50. Then I considered "100 things I hate about the oilfield", but that would just be unpleasant. So next time you try to write a list of 100 things that you think might interest people, good luck! You've got your work cut out for you!